Fun is suspicious. It is, at best, frivolous. There is no “right to fun” protected by the constitution (although a few r[DIE VERWENDUNG DES URSPRUENGLICHEN NAMENS DES UNTERNEHMENS WURDE UNS UNTERSAGT]s did propose a right to pursue happiness). If anything, we must be protected from it. Due to fun’s flashy appeal (it’s FUN!), it must be taken off of the streets, away from vulnerable children, and isolated to sanctioned fun zones for those wastrels who cannot resist its hollow allure.
Society will thrive in the absence of fun. The dogged avoidance of fun is what gets us to work, gets us to war. Gets Things Done. (Why is that jackass giggling?) And it is not enough for you to personally not have fun. Oh, no: the world must be paved. You must enforce the No Fun agenda at every turn. There must be a domino chain of dullness, from victim to victim. Quieting the music. Killing the buzz.
This chain-gang of fussbudgets stretches across the nation. Fun is shouted down with self-righteousness sermons. Shut down with ham-handed disapproval. Dismissed as childish. Gauche. Like a pendulum, the Puritanism of our forefathers returns and returns and returns. In the way we talk, in the way we travel. At every opportunity. Each new crusade has this one guaranteed victim.
“˜You are to be in all things regulated and governed,”™ said the gentleman, “˜by fact. We hope to have, before long, a board of fact, composed of commissioners of fact, who will force the people to be a people of fact, and of nothing but fact. You must discard the word Fancy altogether.”™
–Charles Dickens, Hard Times
On the other hand, can we get some humorless fascism thrown at these guys?